Haha dude youd die if you were here. Girl presenting is defending the new testament and did her report on JESUS. best believe i'm gonna ask some hungover, atheist ass questions
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
Can we skip lunch and do power hour sex time from now on? I'll let you eat nachos off my body if you really need the food.
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Stay strong! Remember we're too uncoordinated to be strippers to make money instead of being a nurse
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
MASS TEXT: Next weekend I will be in town for St. Patty's day. There will be a bonfire and liqour olympics. We will have booze but in order to participate it is byob. Upon arrival everyone will be asked to sign a waiver. I am not responsible for liver failure, death, loss of clothing or memory, bites, scratches, hickies, pregnancies, or any other for of injury you may obtain while participating. There will be ridiculous amounts of green glitter, be prepared to puke it up. ALSO WEAR SOMETHING GREEN OR YOU WILL BE PENALIZED!! AUTOMATIC 5 SHOTS. HAPPY GAMING!!!
Watching a guy pay his tab with a check. Jesus dude...
Randomize
