I know you are passed out now but when you wake up in the morning your keys are in the freezer and your probly gunna want to apologize to your gf...
We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
My 11 year old cousin is wearing a Jane Austen fan club t shirt. I'm trying not to tear into her, but I'm five coronas deep and losing control.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
at wine tasting. Can i cleanse my Palate with a frito?
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
The struggle bus has heated seats and stops at Dunkin on Friday mornings so I'll be okay.
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
Randomize
