It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
How was dinner with ur grandparents?
I was really blazed and scared they'd catch me, so when they asked about my day I was concentrating really hard on not saying smoking that instead I honestly said "Well, I had sex on your pool table, Nana."
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
He asked if I was on the pill, apparently I just downed my glass of beer and winked at him...
Harry Potter. Singing. Sobering up. In that order.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
She's going to hate me
Yeah well one of her many personalities always hates you.
The rest will just start to agree
How much booze could a drunk brad chug when a drunk brad does chug booze?!?
All. The answer is always all
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
There is a huge naked guy in the kitchen with the boner of a lifetime and what I believe is an assault rifle casually resting on his shoulder.
Randomize
