Don't worry about later. I already pre-ordered a pizza for a 1:45 delivery and told them to ignore any calls from your number.
You're getting good at this, you know that?
Playing drinking games to Nancy Grace totally counts as "keeping up with current events.."
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
Just picture a dyson vacuum with razor blades. That's how it felt.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Dude found out there's an open bar at the celebration of life thing for my grandma which is at noon. Now I know why I can drink so much
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
On my way home from the dentist. Was going to call and see if you would like to wake and bake, then remembered my sister is an adult
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
Is it bad that if I found out I couldn't have kids I'd be more pissed that I've been using unnecessary condoms than the fact that I'll never be a mother?
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
I’ve got a lot of questions but the first one has to be where you got the flame thrower.
Randomize
