Picture Ja Rule and 50 Cent having a sexy full grown love child son...He's on my bus right now, wearing an outside jacket with no shirt underneath. My fashion sense and libido are fighting it out.I'll keep you posted on who wins.
so she asked me if I thought she was fat and naturally I said no..... but I think she might catch on
who is she? I really hope you have an explanation cause either you think I'm fat or you're cheating on me
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
I'm at about main and main street
The guy you fucked with the lazy eye is here, im avoiding contact by texting you. But i just looked up and he recognizes me, theres no way he doesnt. I'd remember the girl who called me quasimodo all night too. Sober me feels so bad.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You need Xanax blowdarts
Forgot to tell you--the bartender at Crowbar set his arm on fire last night. He was doing this "Cocktail" bartender trick of pouring alcohol that was on fire between glasses. Then some leaked out, onto his arm, and set his arm on fire, then his shirt. Exciting! (And he's ok).
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
It was 6am and he went immediately for the 69. WTF?? 6am is WAY to early for acrobatics.
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I dropped a piece of Mac and cheese in the shower and I almost still ate it. Stoned, but not stoned enough to degrade myself.
Randomize
