You can't special order awesome
started to yawn and threw up hamburger helper instead. awesome night.
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
I swear to god, allah, buddah and motherfucking oprah winfrey... if I have to stay here any longer because you are holding us up I will choke you out.
Oh just chilling alone with a stranger baby while everyone else clambakes the bathroom. Probation is the reason there is bad things in the world.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
My life is a video game called get the drunk princess back to her castle, thank you to all that participated
It was inevitable. It was like I was a caterpillar and now I'm a drunk and high butterfly
i tried to break up pigeon sex because one looked too young to consent. fireball feminism ftw
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize
