you were licking his little sister's watercolors and trying to paint with your tongue.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
apologized to him about 10 times for being drunk. told him about 15 times that he was "really pretty"
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
i feel like i should invite him over so he can cockblock my roommate one last time before he graduates. for old times sake, ya know
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
SO EXCITED ABOUT STRING CHEESE RIGHT NOW
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
I'm disproportionately drunk. But I also spelled disproportionately right twice so maybe I'm not that drunk
Let the healthy eats/juice cleanse begin. Today is day 1
Have you cleansed yourself of the boy yet?
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