I realize now. I should have just made out with everyone and anyone when I had the chance.
and when he finished he started shouting "swim boys SWIM"
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
We stole your phone last night, texted your brother and told him you wanted it up the ass by him. All he said was "I want ur money."
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
He's like the unplanned child of drunkenness
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
It was after I slept with him he tells me he's a juggalo
Well it was nice knowing him
OMFG I JUST SEARCHED DILDO ON THE WORK SHARED AMAZON ACCOUNT!!!!!
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
She told us she had powers and that eating tree bark cures the shits.
Randomize
