I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I'm sitting at my desk looking through our payroll system photos to find my next boyfriend. Abuse of power or awesome?
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
Dude! I just figured out I can successfully hide a 4oz flask between my boobs without endangering my cleavage! College: conquered!
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
i have never been so sexually frustrated as I am right now. I feel like dying...is death an option?
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
If this gives you any indication of my current state, I stopped at Meijer after work and bought funyuns, pregnancy tests and chocolate.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
Randomize
