I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
I missed rounds this morning...my senior resident hooked me up to and IV and made me stay in the clinic because he said I didn't look presentable enough to walk around the hospital
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
The picture on Facebook I was just tagged in, with the mask, that is the definition of Carmen, my drunk alter ego
So we were in bed when his brother walks in, walks over to me, fist bumps me and says he just wanted to say hi, then leaves...so random lmao
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
he was really really nice, and I did coke off of his dong that night too
New strategy for telling if someone is drunk: will they attempt to drink a candle if you put a straw in it?
Randomize
