so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
the best days in LIFE are when you realize you arent pregnant
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
sorry bout that man. went out to pay the pizza boy, ended up hooking up with some random drunk girl that thought i was someone else
He made me sneak beer in the diaper bag... guess who is winning 2012 parents of the year
He's claiming he can open a beer bottle with anything. He's been trying for a while now with a power rangers action figure and he is just cutting the hell out of his hand. There is blood all over billy
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
Pretty sure I just noped a member of the Canadian women's hockey team on Tinder.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
I told you that we shouldn't have sex. You said "its okay I already saw you pee" apparently that was convincing
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
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