My hand turned me down
Your dad touched me again.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
They have a pepper shaker for pot.
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
Pretty sure I just had sex with the black kid who grew up in a car from "angels in the outfield"
How come I never meet celebrities?
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Close. The correct answer is shitting in a public toilet. We also would have accepted the pit of despair.
No more drinking with Em. She was on the ground so much she looked like she belongs in a lifealert commercial
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
woke up to find i out made out with his roommate before hooking up with him. breakfast was awkward to say the least
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
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