apparently i was offering everyone ambien and shouting, it's only like heath ledger if you want it to be!
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
Then we managed to set a grill and all 24lbs of meat on it on fire. I didn't help because I was filled with alcohol and extra flammable.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
I have 20 seconds to get my life together and look presentable.
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
I sent a picture of my balls to one of my best friends, so basically it was an average night.
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
So I almost broadcasted the porn from my phone to the boardroom chrome cast
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
Randomize
