She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
four guys that i have slept with have come into my job today. FOUR. i feel like it's like bring your sex partners to work day.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I dunno what to tell you sport. Short of having a shock collar on, you're gonna wanna hook up with people.
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
