That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
how do you tell someone you stalk them in a non-creepy way
you don't.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
he put $150 on the cabs dash so 9 of us could pile in and ride 3 blocks to the apartment.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
Time is so short and I miss you. (I just watched that commercial where the people all laugh and get older and die.)
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Are you seriously getting this frustrated over a hand-job right now?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
you said, "the pool was totally tequila. and i left my shoe halfway across town. and by shoe i mean car" it appeared to me that you didn't have your shoes or car.
Randomize
