tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
Donna and I are betting on whether or not you are going to cheat on your boyfriend tonight....I said you wouldnt do it.
You might as well just give her the money now.
so now that im really awake i see that my underwear are completely ripped down the side, my shorts are on backwards, i have to go get plan b....i call last night an epic fail or success depending on how catholic i am feeling
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
a guy in a toll booth on I-90 told me to fuck off for not being a red sox fan. i am going to miss massachusetts very much.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
So you really have to stop introducing me to girls and afterwards saying "he has his dick pierced" let them find out for themselves
and then the other night his penis tricked us both into sex
I booked us a cruise for November. Lose 20 pounds and don't cheat on me before then.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
Once I hang curtains in my truck bed that'll be feasible
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Randomize
