He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
At the Phils game. My gay buddy just wanted up to a bunch of Mets fans and said "I'm gay, and even I think Mets fans are a bunch of fags." I love this fuckin town.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
It's like a teen mom casting at the Obgyn's office. I feel great about my positive life decisions.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
I just used a coke ridden $20 bill to buy Girl Scout cookies
there's fucking coffee grinds packed all inside my pipe. what did i do
I'm not drunk or hungover and I don't have to work. My body is sooo confused!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
Randomize
