don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
yeah, but the likliness of me finding my husband at a party where the facebook event is titled "NEW YEARS EVE SHIT SHOW" is highly unlikely
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
You were laying in a hotel bed drinking beer from a straw while you demanded everyone to kiss your foot tattoo.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
let’s face it, me joining a co-ed soccer league is like, 33% motivated by my crotch seeking a healthy outlet
I just compared my relationship to that double ended dong scene from Requiem. This day just took a turn.
I also guarantee you multiple orgasams and blueberry pancakes
Randomize
