so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
Definitely contact high. Thirty miles an hour listening too i can see clearly now wanting too eat the steering wheel
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
she tried to handfeed me fritos while yelling "PENIS TRAIN"
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
I was scared that I should know him but I was too busy blacking out to remember
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
she grabed my junk and started making lightsaber noises
I wonder if you could get her in a metal bikini
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
why the hell did we go to a rave last night?
we didn't?
definitely went to a bar with strobe lights
JENNIFER. You passed out in a toilet with a color changing light in it.
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