I may or may not have just irish jigged at a bar. And broken out in a sweat from it. Not a good sign for that marathon yo.
Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
she was screaming in french about how classy it was to be drinking wine. oh... she was drinking it out of the bottle. with a beer in her other hand while throwing up.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Got so drunk in South Padre some guy put me on a suitcase trolly and pushed me to my room. I flashed my boobs as a tip.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
I just can't do Wednesdays sober anymore
I pay 3K a month for rent, yet last nite I broke into the back of my building, scaled over 2 tons of garbage in heels and took a dirty freight elevator to my floor just so my doorman wouldn't see how fucked up I was
U know ur prob on camera right?
What would I even say at the wedding? "Sorry that I still wouldn't sleep with you after four years of you trying...but hopefully my sister here isn't that stubborn" and give him an awkward pat on the back?
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