so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
she tried to deny peeing on the floor last night. she said she wouldn't make it to the bathroom only to pee on the floor
oh but she would
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
Our innocent game of 'Duck, duck, booze.' ended up not being so innocent
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
If I could figure out how to do him with his wranglers on you would never see me again.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
Uh oh. Put down the vodka cancel the clowns and get rid of the donkey
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
Randomize
