so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
I want you more than these girls want KFC
The cereal milk was almost black, the bacon was still frozen and the toast was soggy. And that was BEFORE I puked in her lap.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
i screwed him while his gf was puking in the shower. 2011 is looking up already
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Trust me man, I did not put any cookies down your pants when you slept.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
fuck whipped cream. I'd eat vegetables off those abs
HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED HAM AND WEED
I'm surprised this is your first encounter with pepper spray. surprised, and somewhat proud.
Randomize
