That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
just took a cab, driver just asked what i'd been drinking- i said vodka, he said "can't do vodka-drunk, it makes me feel like i'm giving birth to myself" ...no comment
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
I have to touch the horse lube. :-(
Randomize
