do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
you broke a plate. told her her wedding china was ugly and you were doing her a favor. then proceeded to break every plate you could get your hands on.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
We are stranded. Come find us. Bring an egg
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
I shaved my legs and got a bikini wax, I don't care what I take home as long as it has a penis
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
It has gotten to a point where I just want to sit on his face. Less butterflies, more orgasms.
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Meeting him up for him to pay half of the Plan B was awkward but worth it cause I'm broke as fuck
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
I'm waiting for you in a manthong right now.
You don't know happiness until you've got to smoke weed inside taco bell and then eat all you want for free
Randomize
