She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
If there's anything in this world better than hotboxing in the rain I haven't found it yet.
Agreed
I feel like my nuva ring should have a vibrating switch.
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Turns out shot glasses hold the perfect serving of sour patch kids....I still fail to see how not having any real glasses is an issue
That's why she's the girl with her life together and you're the girl with the penis drawn on your car.
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I finally fell asleep and like an hour later he wakes me up and says "I've always to be woken up w a blowjob." Um, that's not how it works asshole.
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Randomize
