i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
Shes in the fridge organizing my beer collection. I love having a girlfriend with OCD
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
