my night went downhill once I lost my bikershorts. EAWSSSSYY ACCESS
I'm seriously so bored I'm seeing how many rooms I can masturbate in before I get caught.
Four. Poor grandma...
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
just had to make the 420 edibles gluten free and kosher for passover.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
All i want to do is drink fuck and cry... you dont have to cater all three its more like the saddest choose your own adventure ever
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
It's like weed even makes my glasses better. Everything is so bright and clear and beautiful!
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
Was reaching for my vibrator this morning out of my nightstand and strained my neck muscle. I'm getting so old.
You have my heart. You only share my vagina.
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