I went down on her for at least a half hour, She loved it, so I thought she'd recip. She said "I only do that if I know I'm getting something out of it."
SHUT IT DOWN.
I'm not even planning on drinking that much tonight.. but I'm writing "emergency contact number" and your number on my hand just in case
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
I will tell my future kids about the time I went to the bar with a stomach virus. Like a champ.
There are 18k people at the game and I'm next to the one guy who pulls his underwear down to his ankles to piss.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Your topless pictures make me question reality
My car insurance payment showed up today, so no inflatable hot tub for now. Sorry to disappoint.
Why would you trust me with ANYTHING!!!???
Apparently karate chopping the fronts off all the paper towel and soap dispensers in the bathrooms isn't even frowned upon. Like even at the third bar when I fell flat on my back trying to jump kick the last one some guy just helped me up and high fived me. America.
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
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