He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
After skinny dipping in your pond, I think me and tequila have added a whole new dynamic to our relationship.
More importantly, he hasn't caught an STD yet. I mean I'd say it's luck, but at this point it has to be skill.
I'm not judging you... I'm judging our friendship
Sorority life is like alcoholic girl scouts, plus douchebags in polos.
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
After what was supposed to be a one night stand I woke up to a message in my room wall written in marker "Kaitlin got it on in here" definitely a cock block down the road
You wanted to thank my penis. You wanted me to take the condom off so you could touch it and thank it.
New Halloween costume idea: Frankenstorm. We have three hours. Make it work.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
Did that sound smart? Cuz beneath the boozy exterior beats the heart of a fucking scientist.
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
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