CAN CRIS ANGEL JUST LOOK NORMAL FOR ONCE?!
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I saw the video from Saturday. So, how much did I drink for me to think I was a duck and strip my clothes?
Just managed to stab myself in the ass with a fork. I feel that as my best friend, I'm obligated by friend code to inform you of that sort of thing.
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
Sorry, all I could picture was you jamming your dick into a lemon.
I'm really glad that we can be casual hook up buddies. This is a true friendship. Now, please convince your roommate to do the same. Thanks.
I made people serenade her before talking to her and went on a condom run. If I'm going to be in the friend zone, I'm going to be its fucking king.
This was like angel cum on the bread of life filled with the nectar of the gods
You were crying in a drunken stupor for an hour because "the new daft punk album didn't blow your tits off"
So after taking my shirt off, he pulls my bra off like a hockey jersey. FUCKIN PRO. Guy knew what he wanted.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
