It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
So they call this "a walk of shame" but fuck that...this walk is fantastic. What kind of debbie downer came up with that name?
i hope when i become a housewife i'm more of a gretchen and less of a vicky
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
i'm just sitting here going through her tagged pics, covering up different parts of her face to try and figure out exactly what it is that makes her so ugly.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Are we doing anything tonight after class for Valentine's Day or just being lazy and having sex?
If you expect me to say anything other than 'lazy and sex' you're crazzzzy!
I dealt with the imported moonshine, but when the cocaine came out, I had to get the fuck out of there
I woke up this morning half naked, smelling like an ash tray, with an empty bottle of jack next to me, and now someone named Dora the anal explorer is texting me.
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
Randomize
