I've eaten ice cream, mentos, an extreme gulp and swedish fish today. i feel like diabetes. the actual disease not a person with it.
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
Im pretty sure it started going awry when I asked their mom "How much would it cost me to sleep with your daughters"
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
woke up and somehow me leather belt got torn in half. either we partied with the hulk or some chick just could not wait to see my dick. probably the former tho
And then he said, "let's have sex and I'll send you home with enchiladas."
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
How drunk is too drunk to be on an airplane?
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
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