if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
She thought I was gay, so I told her I'd be more comfortable with anal. She agreed.
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
its my first week of college and i have a UTI
not easy being a whore now is it
i'm not sure if i'm mentally prepared for this.. politeness? proper grammar? book reader ? this is a whole new meaning of the species penis for me.
what part of 'taking a night off' includes MDMA in your world?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
seriously they are like going to hulk burst through. There are perks and downfalls to having big boobs
I was drunk, he was taking a bodyshot while avoiding my piercing. I told him I loved him. He waited until I woke up with my hangover to say he loved me too. It was hangover magic.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
Someone who makes you cum so hard that you have an asthma attack is clearly your soulmate
I just found a piece of dried shredded carrot on my bed
Is it unhealthy for me to do shots of pinnacle by myself in my apartment right now? Asking for a friend
Randomize
