She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
we did rock-paper-scissors to see who would find out if you had alcohol poisoning
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
is it weird that I didn't think he was hot last night when I was making out with him but right now I'm Facebook stalking him and think he's really attractive??
your beer goggles are on backwards.
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
Trimming my pubes at 1 AM, drunk, listening to Stevie Ray Vaughn. What has become of me.
Jesus christ stop updating me about every aspect of your life.
80% sure the drag queens carried her home
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
I will teach you the ways of the ho life, my little gay grasshopper.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
LMAO. Stop. Men are such gentleman these days. I woke up with no one beside me and you got 6 cents
6 cents and no orgasm 💃🏻🎉
We are so blessed
I drove them away with my sparkling personality and LOTR references.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
Randomize
