Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
He also has a monumental penis. It's unbelieveable. I'm sorry but he's perfect.
one of them held the wheel while the other one changed her pants. while driving. on the thruway. what
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Doing tequila shots with my ex to celebrate that we broke up... not awkward at all.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
"This must be what Jayden Smith feels like all the time"
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
Randomize
