i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Making pb&j crepes. Using corn tortillas. So high. I don't know if I'm offending French people or Mexican people more.
I feel like if you stuck me in a room with all my old toys it'd be the best high ever.
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Like, I just want to be naked rolling around in soft things.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Congratulations, you've begun to unfuck your life.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
I'm 2 weeks in to my all dick and carb diet and so far I've lost 2lbs.
She made me undress her with my teeth...explains the button in my shit this morning...
So I was walking to the bathroom and some random dude threw up while walking towards me. He kept eye contact the entire time and didn't stop moving.
You were throwing up into a trash can full of used condoms. I had to intervine.
Randomize
