Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
i've met an abundance of virgins and guys who where flip flops, i thinks there's a correlation
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
Why do I feel like the only way for this trip to end is alcohol poisoning?
He couldn't stand on his own, but he managed to somehow to get to the beer garden and get served 3 more. I'm proud to call him my cousin.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Finally hooked up with her. She bought me tacos after because "she can do better in a bed". You're gonna be my best man.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I'm like a sensual ninja. You turn your head for a second and.... BOOM I'm naked. It's like a naughty magic trick.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
