I just accidently sent my poop smells like vodka to 27 people in my phone book
i just saw her new tattoo, how much more trashy can you get than having "taste the rainbow" on your body for the rest of your life?
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
Keep your head up. His game is good, and you should be honoured to be a notch on his wall. If it makes you feel better, if it wasn't you, it was going to be me.
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
How did "just two beers for happy hour" turn into naked backyard wrestling?
REALLY should have cleaned under my bed before I had my parents come help me pack...things my parents just found: several condoms and a bottle of lube. My mom when she found a condom: "ooo ribbed. Laura's a lucky girl"
Trust me that one dick you don't want. It's like a whale... That's swam too many oceans...
we told the drug dealer that our car was dead and we needed a jump so he would bring the drugs to us...
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
You know the bunny onesie you sent me? Happy Halloween, I just did the hop of shame.
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