I will be horny for about another two hours. Feel free to call me until then.
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
He said he wanted to make me his Twinkie, "filled with his delicious cream." ABSOLUTELY 100% NO YOU MAY NOT REPEAT ****NOT**** GIVE HIM MY NUMBER EVER EVER EVER. Please confirm receipt and full comprehension of this message.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
Fun fact: drinking me now steals weaponry
I'm starting to think that birthday sex is just an urban legend. Like the boogey man, and woman orgasms.
I want to respect them as people, but really I just want to have sex with them.
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
YOU FUCKED THE DARE INSTRUCTOR DIDN'T YOU?
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