You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
are you so shy because you have an std?
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
I wish everyone could suck his dick. It was an honor.
Beyoncé wouldn't let anything bad happen here
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
It's really hard to tweet with a pussy in your face demanding attention.
Just motorboated this 18 year old girl at the bar. The first time was my idea the other 3 she made me. Maybe turning 27 won't be so bad. Haha.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
