My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
I threw up into my coffee this morning.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
What are the chances I get my period 2 weeks early just as welcome week starts. My uterus is conspiring with my dead catholic grandma
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I enjoy the company of your penis
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
The fuck kind of sorcerer makes a pact with tequila
Most of the people I know from AA
Haha touché
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