are you sure you're not interested? he's the dunkin donuts employee of the month.
We need to start having rules for the weekends. Like no more downing 3 shots because we want to slut dance a little harder or because biggie just came on.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
Based on your 5AM twitter activity I gather you found MORE FREE COKE??
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
My head feels like Jesus is projectile vomiting hammers on it
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
you just rode your bike home from a one night stand in a stolen skirt with no underwear and you're telling ME to reevaluate life choices?!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
You’re not his type
I’ve got blonde hair and great tits. I’m every man’s type
Randomize
