Update. It gets worse. A) he's done viagra and B) he wears socks at all times.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
And the cops told us we were all naked.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
I am in his childhood bedroom and I feel like his trophies are applauding me and his stuffed bunny is disgusted with me. Did you know he was a mathlete?
Cop came to our door looking for you. Something about sex in public and intoxication. I said you matched the description.
I don't care. She's the only girl to make me feel like my face is melting when she blows me.
Like I blink, and he's face first in my vagina.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Give me a few. Gonna ride the rollercoaster.
Randomize
