someone wrote "the short drunk lives here" on our door. i already have a reputation
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
It was a perpetual wrestle for who got to be on bottom. Laziest hookup ever.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
Well, no one has ever described you as a perfectly balanced individual
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Let's just say we ended up at Denny's with a strippers shoe that we had to discreetly leave at the door to the strip club this morning
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
No other awkward car ride can beat the one you give your drug dealer home.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
If you think that liquor is the way to shower sex then you're right.
you're telling me you don't want to have sex 30,000 feet above the earth?
Randomize
