just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
My parking ticket this morning was 30bucks. I feel like I'm paying the city to fuck you.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
I'm someone's dream girl. I'm hungover in this guy's bed wearing ONLY a Brian Westbrook jersey. Not the same I was on a date with last night.
she named my penis "gigantor the baby arm"
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
Meet at Walmart straight from work to buy items for hurricane fun. Then blast some wine, make some sex, blast a bowl and cuddle each other till the sun comes up?
That's the most romantic New Orleans hurrication I've ever heard of. Can I have your babies?
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
If I'm gonna have a rotation of guys, I really should stop them leaving boob bruises...
This is the best 30th birthday ever. In a Motel 6 drinking a shower beer and sending slow-mo dick helicopter videos to you.
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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