Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
She does have a great personality.
Yeah, in her vagina.
Y do pigs give u trufles on farmville? I WANT BACON YOU FUCKING PIG!
September 16th, captains log. I awoke in a daze, not sure of my location
Come out Saturday. It's for my lesbian daughter from the future birthday.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
if i can hear my landlord's phone ring you think be can hear my vibrator?
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Dressing as mugato from zoolander Halloween you may want to be the hand model. We can get you a fish bowl filled with Clementine Vodka and soda you can put your hand in.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Randomize
