I wish everyone walked around campus with a video of what they did this weekend above their heads.
Walk of shame... his parents made me go to church with them first. in my club top sweat pants and slippers. i just slapped god in the face
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
It's been a long time since I felt this bad on a Monday... and for that, I thank you.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
I thi k this dude I fcken showed up to the bar in a raisins shirts. I thought I was better than that. Fuckkkk.
Shit ive learned: when going out to a party, always wear a bathing suit underneath just in case theres a pool with a roof next to it
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
So I stappled myself into my toga... that should be interesting getting out of later tonight...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
Im covered in coffee vomit and urine and none of which are mine
On a brief change if topic, last night I dreamt I got shit faced with bill Nye the science guy and we went bar to bar and explained the science of alcohol to everyone who'd give us free drinks. We wore bow ties
Haha word. Sure I can do that. Help me find which bar has my pants and you'll get free tacos all week
Randomize
