ad ew i am wasted whats my problem
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
It is scary how often "just flash him" is your advice.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
do you ever just look around and think about how great it is to have depth perception? Like it's really, really cool when u think about it
Any sexual interaction is meaningless without pizza during half time.
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
Is it totally acceptable to fuck a co-worker even though we don't speak the same language?
Why do you even have to ask me that question
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