just come out here and I will go home with you...
the best thing about tacos is after you shit them all out you feel like to have room for your dignity to come back
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
love makes seman taste better
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
Just pissed in my own closet. Had no idea adult dinner parties could he so awesome.
Either I'm paranoid or I swear my parents rigged my house so you can never sneak in or have the munchies without being loud.
I made a half way decent playlist
Im gonna call it "hanging myself"
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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