Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i'm almost one hundred percent positive that i have a warrant out for my arrest in this city. i also don't give a fuck because im drinking TEQUILAAAA
I had a fork in my beer hand and just stabbed my tongue.
if being creepy is wrong, then i don't want to be right
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
he's washing the lighter in the sink and telling me to picture unicorns. requesting backup.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
I woke up on the toilet with my feet gorilla glued to the floor, cake and makeup on my face and my hand glued to my head.
Welcome to the world of vodka. Rule #1: NEVER PASS OUT. Happy 21st
Babysitting for someone you accidently sent nudies to is so fucking awkward.
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Because I'm a hot mess throwing up in the litter box
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
I swear to god, no guy has been as interested in sticking stuff up my butt as this girl
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