? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
We started playin just the tip, then shit got crazy
There is tupperware vodka. thats right tupperwares full of vodka. best leftovers ever
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
we got plastered, then made lists of anything thats ever been in our vaginas
I know. Brad is upset because he was lower on the list than "that carrot stick"
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
You shall now refer to my vagina as patty and patty only
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Went as "Party on, Wayne." And left as, "Partied out Wayne in a foot boot with new medical bills." Fuck Halloween...and vodka.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
Eaten today: granola bar, pumpkin donut, and fritos. Oh, college nutrition.
Yep, you're going to hell.
I take on this great possibility with a beer in one hand and the girl I'm gonna fuck later in the other
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
You’ll (maybe) appreciate that I picked at my ingrown hair again. Quarantine updates are getting BLEAK.
Randomize
